“I’m on my way!” I say as I remain naked in bed
When commercials feature cheerleaders that have horrible technique and don’t even do cool stunts.
your mom is named mom…my mom is named mom… dude don’t freak out but i think we’re related
90% percent of the time i’m “going to the bathroom” is just me in there trying to get away from people’s shit
then why would you go to the bathroom
it’s kind of weird knowing that when you sleep, you’re just looking at your eyelids but somewhere in your brain, you are able to produce dreams as if you’re still awake.
I wish I was like a parking meter but like people paid me to talk to them and when their time ran out i slept
i can’t even pick my favorite song what makes you think i can pick a college